random thoughts after a TOUGH day.

i had one of those AH-HA moments today.
let me see if i can put it into words.

for me serving people is the best, i am so passionate about it, and i really do enjoy it.
when i first started working at the woods on service in the kitchen, it was amazing.
i would wake up in the morning, excited, and stoked to meet new people and serve them to the best of my ability.
the opportunity to love on and pour into people i really dont know at all, is phenomenal.
i have the best job.

but over the last few months it has become tough.
even tho the job itself isnt difficult, i found myself without drive, or motivation,
even tho i still say i love to serve, it just isnt a reality for me.
today.. was the ah-ha.. i found my answer.

working at the woods, is about 4ish hours away from home, away from church, away from my family, away from my auntie m, its away.
living here virtually alone sucks. i am surrounded by co-workers and new groups every couple of days..
but virtually i live here on my own, no church, no family, no network of people that pour into me.

so if im pouring all of my heart out to the guests, and no one is refilling my tank by pouring into me..
i lost the drive.. because i'm running on e. my tank is empty.
here is the real 'ah-ha' ..
i shouldnt be relying on other people to fill my tank .. God wants to!
i need to rely on God, and His strength, and allow him to flow through me...

ah-ha ..

:) i figured it out ..

will you pray for me?